OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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