Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
