I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
