Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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