Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
