Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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