I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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