With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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