What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
