I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
