everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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