i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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