He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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