Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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