If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I CAN MOONWALK!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
