My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
