Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
