When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
