my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
