Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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