at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
