When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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