she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
