Pappa wants mamma naked
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
