thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
