i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
