Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
