Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
