i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
