I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
