So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
