home. puking in laundry basket.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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