hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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