all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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