They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
