There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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