thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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