I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize