I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
