You can't motorboat a personality
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
