Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
