Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
