It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
