My friends, they love my intelligence
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i'm inner monologue high
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
