it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
