he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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