Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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