yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
