My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
