She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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