one two three fourrrrnication!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
