okay pat passed out under dana's car
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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