For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
