A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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