Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
