I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
