do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
