I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
