I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize