dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize