I should be sponsored by Trojan
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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